When your confidence takes a knock
"But I'm not the finished article, who am I to be managing people?"
Those were the words out of the mouth of one of my recent clients. She had been thrust into a supervisory position as people in the organisation were put into smaller teams due to remote working. Now she was someone that the team could turn to if they needed help with a task or needed to speak to someone because they were struggling.
As we talked it was evident she had forgotten all that she knew and was capable of - her confidence had been well and truly knocked by that voice inside her head!
We talked about the fact that as toddlers we strive to learn to walk and talk - but we are not the finished article - there's still learning to be done - to run, jump, dance, sing etc., and having learnt to walk and talk we are now ready to learn more.
So do you have to be the finished article to be confident? I think not - I often share the menomic below and ask clients how they can bring each word to life for themselves:
Capable - Being ok with good enough, competent. Knowing where to go for help in handling new or difficult situations. Believing that you are capable, that you can face whatever life throws at you with assurance is enough.
Own it - Own how you feel, your opinions, your thoughts. You are unique.
Nurture yourself - Believe in your value and your worth. You are worth the time and energy to support your quality of life and personal growth. Taking time to re-energise and pamper yourself helps you feel good about yourself.
Fully present - Engage in the here and now with others. Constantly thinking about what you feel like or worrying about what others are thinking about you is about the past. Concentrate on what's in front of you and how you can get the best out of the here and now
Integrity - Be true to yourself. Honour who you really are. Be honest
Endure - Know that it's ok to make mistakes and that things don't go as they should 100% of the time. Learn resilience strategies and be open to learning from when things go wrong.
Not arrogant - there is a distinct difference between confidence and arrogance. Arrogance does not build good relationships. Confidence is not about getting praise, attention or being better than others. Confident people are sincere, give credit and encourage progress
Take action - We all want to try or do certain things but often don't as we fear failure. Confident people prepare and try. The more we take action, the more our confidence grows. Trying something new, especially if successful, means it feels easier to try something new the next time
My client built some top tips for herself that she could refer to when she felt a wobble. I'm looking forward to our next session when we discuss her progress.
Be ready. Be confident.